Whoa, Woe.

To paraphrase the always eloquent Roberto - "woe is the [Bar]. woe are... readers [of blogs about the Bar]. woe be all up in the hood. many weeks of woe. much boredom with woe of [essay writing]. no easement of the woe to be found in the [Bar blogs]. woe are the [Bar blogs]."

Seriously, people are psyching themselves out and I foolishly read their blogs this evening. Won't make that mistake again. I hate vicarious stress. Why isn't there strict liability for such crap? Woe indeed.

ATTENTION Lyrical Geniuses: I need your help.

I've recently started attending this awesome boot-camp type of fitness class at the gym here on campus with my friend E. The instructor has an affinity for funkalicious R&B and pop-reggae tunes. Every day so far, we students have been regaled with the same (entertaining) mix. At the end of the class, the mix features this one hilarious song. I know only a tiny portion of the lyrics but, honest to God, they seem to be, "Shake your B-O-T-Y."

I'm pretty sure that B-O-T-Y is an incorrect spelling of booty, but I suppose one can never be too certain. Does B-O-T-Y mean something I'm unfamiliar with? If not, how could an error this egregious pass by the producer's vigilant ears? I am dying to download this song, but knowing so few lyrics, I can't seem to find it. My Google searches have been unavailing as they suggest KC & the Sunshine Band's famous tune or imply that I am misspelling my inquiry.

Can anyone help this bored bar-taker out?

Also, QUOTE OF THE WEEK, in a thoughtful response to my inability to hang out with a friend: "It's not you being lame, it's the Bar being lame."

Interpretations?

This weekend, at a fantastic rehearsal dinner at Fat's in Folsom*, I received a very unusual fortune. I think this fortune tops the one my mother used to get in every cookie she ate at the Great Wall in Minneapolis. [Mind you, we ate there often enough to receive Christmas cards from the owners.] Her fortune was, "You will meet a tall, dark woman." My fortune read:

"Alas! The onion you are eating is some else's water lily."

Now, I've never seen a fortune that starts with the word, "Alas." I was a bit startled by that, not to mention the fact that it was followed by a fright-inducing exclamation point. This bit about the lily and onion has me a little stumped. I believe leeks are part of the lily family... Perhaps this has something to do with not wallowing in bitterness and self-pity... Your thoughts?

*My very best wishes to the lovely Lew-Williamses (see above)!

Shame on Me

I should be reading a Conviser Mini Outline right now but I felt like updating this too-long neglected blog. Besides, if I learned one thing in law school, it was that I can rely on Chemerinksy to teach me anything. Thank God for Chemerinksy I say. Furthermore, TGIF tomorrow.

Before I bore you any further by making a few more unsolicited comments about Bar Review, I do have some newsworthy information to impart. I got engaged two weeks ago! The author of the, even more neglected blog, Island of Misfit Toys, is my fabulous fiance. [He's one witty dude, eh? Perhaps with some prodding from my three faithful readers, he might even start blogging again...] I am thrilled and excited to be engaged but still stumbling over the word "fiance." Is there a synonym that sounds less fruity? Perhaps I could invent a word from the ridiculous Real Property vocabulary I'm learning now for the first time.

On that note, it turns out that Property Law questions remind me a little bit of the Logic Games section of the LSAT. Everyone always pisses and moans about that Games section. Often times, people complain that it has no real world implications. Well, the next time you have to figure out some sort of insane chain of future interests, messed-up restrictive covenant drama, or "chain of title," those games will seem eerily familiar. Personally, the Games section of the LSAT was my favorite part. In fact, I liked puzzling them out so much that I didn't so much bother teaching myself how to approach the reading comprehension section. Now that I'm facing Property questions, I am getting a similar code-cracking feeling from deciphering these ridonkulous vocabulary words. I can't say that I find this process satisfying, but I do hold out hope that at some point I will understand these "words" and perhaps this topic will not be such a black hole for me.

I'll close with an example of some definitions I wish existed in the law:

Remainderman: The clean-up guy at dinner, see, e.g., my father. The man who eats everything left on everyone else's plates so nothing goes to waste.
Avulsion: The feeling of panic and illness that comes over a student who took my "Property" class when faced with Property questions.
Reverter: A popular Berserker death-grind cover band. "My love for you is like a truck, REVERTER!"