At around 11:00am Thursday morning, Dirtina Dirteens, of "For God and Cheese," took an unfortunate spill on her parents' (shared) bicycle. Ms. Dirteens spent the morning biking to Minnehaha Falls with her sister, an avid cyclist. The trip to the falls was pleasant, somewhat physically exerting, and uneventful. As the siblings approached the Tangletown area (Luverne Avenue), things took a turn, quite literally, for the worse. Approaching an intersection, Ms. Dirteens clutched her brakes. Unfortunately, she managed to grasp only the front wheel brake. Unbeknownst to Ms. Dirteens, the bike had an unusually responsive front wheel braking system. Quite suddenly, she flew over the handlebars, and fell, as though in slow-motion on to the asphalt.
The fall happened in a precise sequence: first her left thigh hit the ground, then her hands, lastly, her chin. Dirtina's sister, Lizardo, was later quoted as saying, "It sort of looked like she was doing 'The Worm.' After her chin hit the ground her legs came up all wave, or worm-like. It was sort of sweet."
Fortunately for the Dirteens Sisters, Lizardo is trained in CPR. Even more fortunately, CPR was not necessary, especially since Lizardo's training is long-past expired. Just a few minutes after the spill, the sisters headed for home. Dirtina's nose ran more than usual but other than that, the trip home was safe, if a little slow and cautious.
Upon returning chez Dirteens, Dirtina began cleaning her wounds and icing her bruised chin. Lizardo performed a concussion check and all was well - Dirtina's pupils dilated normally. When Mrs. Dirteens came upstairs she heard some chatter about a fall and had no doubt that it was, indeed, her eldest who had fallen. Dirtina is well-known as the most-dramatic klutz in the family and is recognized as injury-prone in Minnesota and beyond. In fact, to be certain, Lizardo disclaims feeling frightened at the site of the accident. She says, " I was a bit startled though by no means surprised. I thought we might have another broken nose on our hands. But I realized long ago that she's pretty resilient."
Here's to resilience... and John Denver's mullet. In the immortal words of Lizardo, "I'll say his mullet looks pretty resilient, even timeless."
2 comments:
Oh crap, Katina. I thought the whole "don't pull the front brake because you'll fly over your handlebars" thing was a pure fabrication. But it appears that it's not. Hey yous, watch out now.
Yes, Mr. Williams, 'tis true. Be cautious on your fearless rides around campus. Hope to see you soon.
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