Wednesday, March 30, 2005

il postino?

i'm a bit swamped with work this week so, as a disclaimer, i expect to post very little in the next few days.

i promised a tidbit about my mysterious mail a few days ago. here goes.

i recently received a regular white envelope with no return address. it was forwarded on to me by my dad - whom I should probably consult since as a letter carrier he's bound to be an expert on these matters. it appears that the mail was initially sent to my address from second year of college in chicago. from there it was forwarded to my parent's address in mpls. the sender just stuck a typed label (courier font) over the dormitory address. when that reached my dad, he updated the label to reflect my current abode and sent it chez moi.

normally, when my dad sends me mail it's fundraising pleas from places i used to volunteer at in high school, church news, or (very infrequently) mail from old acquaintances. i was sort of excited at the possibility of who this letter might be from.

much to my chagrin, but intrigue, the mail was a newspaper sized four page advertisement or "special report" on "How to Get Money From The U.S. Government."
Question: What do Fed-Ex, Ben & Jerry's, Jenny Craig, Donald Trump, and even Callaway Golf have in common?
Answer: They all got money from the U.S. government! Can you believe it! It's true! (emphasis and exclamations in the original)

unfortunately, i know all too well how to get money from Uncle Sam. he has given me loans on top of loans all to keep me in school for the past 6 yrs.... anyway, affixed to the first page was a handwritten yellow post-it note that reads:


You gotta see this!


the handwriting is unfamiliar. i have NO clue who may have sent this to me - especially at such an old address. instead of boring any readers with my speculations, i'll open the call to all of you aspiring private eyes, Encyclopedia Brown fanatics, Nancy Drews, and Hardy Boys. please send me your suggestions as to who this mystery sender could be. if it was you, you could even reveal yourself. i can't promise you fame but i'll guarantee you gratitude.

now in case that story wasn't mundane enough, i'll include a few details from my day: accidentally caught the bus that takes the long loop around campus, became more addicted to "milk tea" that comes in a bag with premixed "milk" and sugar, learned that a very important laptop was stolen possibly subjecting my confidential information and that of countless grad students to the wiles of unscrupulous dudes and dudettes. bummer! got a very sweet easter package from mi madre. learned i have approximately 30 minutes left on my cell to get me through next week...


dirteens said...

yes, i'm commenting on my own blog but only b/c i'm too lazy to edit my post. i'm going to be real disappointed if this turns out to be some chicago-area junk mail scam.

Anonymous said...

did you take african civ? my soc instructor today asked if i have a sister, i said yes. he said he had a friend who recognized our last name because they had you in african civ. i was convinced you took western civ.
i have no clue about your mail.

Jeffrey Lesko! said...

It was from me! The guy with question marks written all over hi suit! You can get your GED! or even a PhD!

dirteens said...

lizardo - i did indeed take african civ. western civ was not my bag. however i took it w/ comaroff and a dude who i believe has since left chicago. what's your prof's name?

ctn said...

i got one of those, too - but mine was for how to lose weight - FAST!

maybe i should bring the letter to my school's health services! :)

dirteens said...

that's terrible! they certainly did a bad job targeting who "needed" that mailing. i am still just shocked and amazed that junk mailers would go through the trouble of personalizing post-it notes. so lame.

dirteens said...

that's terrible! they certainly did a bad job targeting who "needed" that mailing. i am still just shocked and amazed that junk mailers would go through the trouble of personalizing post-it notes. so lame.

Jason said...

I have received the same mailing exactly. It went to an address I havent lived at for over a year and a falf. The postmark was CA. on the envelope. It was a Midland TX. paper. My old address was about 40 miles from Midland. I'm now in colorado and thats where it found me. Strange thing is, is that when I type the web address in thats on the paper nothing happens. It also had the exact same note inside on a sticky note. "You gotta see this" "J".

dirteens said...

wow. these are the most pathetic junk mailers ever. i feel sort of sorry for them - sending mail to old addresses all across America - all while putting in the extra effort to attach personalized post-its. i suppose they're keeping the ol' USPS in business though and that's a good thing.

katina said...

witch katina, me?